I’ve had loads of porcelain epiphanies lately but when its actually come to penning them down they’ve bunged themselves up and i’ve left them to flush away with all the other crap memes i have throughout the day.

 Moving back home has been really interesting due to the reacquaintance of my current form with the me from 7 years ago. A 17 year old me who’d just learnt to drive in the Morris Traveller. Bursting with fresh psyche for all the new venues around me and many possible new lines. Chapman, Kershaw and Gaskins were my inspiration for the lakes problems! Some inspiration that! you can either look at it as a bunch of visionary Lancastrians with twinkle toes, or a mixture of gel, ponytails and bald/ponytail combos raving about this and that new rockfall/ escarpment which looks a bit like a boulder. I’d been using my new freedom to climb things like Eyes of Silence, Carlisle Slappers (i was 16 then, you can tell by the name, and was learning to drive on the waterworks road as it was private) And i wanted to climb every half decent problem in sight. The guide was all about climbing everything, nice clean consecutive ticks, aah the neatness. 

I left a lot of my Scotland Lakes and Northumberland guides at home through Uni and they stayed dormant, the inky circles of desire slowly seeping into the pages to become a relic of past whimsies. Re-clambering through these routes and problems on the sofa, what were once my dreams now rasp against my current ideologies. Belittled by my older self. That is not to say that the routes are worse, they still look incredible. Just that Prana on Black Crag Borrowdale, Wheels of Fire on Bowderstone Crag, Crystal Vision Knapdale (http://www.ukclimbing.com/logbook/c.php?i=147046) and many more old guide book inspired dreams, no longer represent where I'm bursting to get to when the weathers good.

Something went horribly wrong over the last 7 years in terms of my aspirations, its not like i achieved and surpassed them, i simply bypassed many of them completely! 

Carrock was another venue I last frequented aged 17, until last week. I remember doing punks life and briefly pretending i was somewhere exotic, Knight Rider with a massive flapper from a crystal (one of the straws that broke the carrocks back for me with this venue) Cave LH. My finest hour, repeating a Gaskins problem the day after he did it! aah joy, his chalk was on it and everything. I even had to tie a strap round my V10s to keep my heel on, i bet Gaskins didn’t have to use a heel. 

Shortly after this i fell in love with the county and Carrock seemed little more than a good place to rasp some skin off in a bogged out midge ridden talus field. In the last fortnight though i’ve grown curious about the old me, the one who went there and had fun. So whilst picking up some wood with Katie to make more holds we decided to swing by on an iffy afternoon for a trip down memory lane. In particular to look at Greg’s sterling work on the back of Boardman’s boulder and Hocks new one move power explosion, Super Yum Yum. The latter was unfortunately piss wrapped so that’ll have to wait for another day.

Metronome (Greg’s new problem) was fortunately dry. 

The stand to this was a funny problem of mine. I remember doing it whilst being really pissed off with myself for doing it. It was sharp (i had some right baby skin then). I only had one pad and my ankles kept disappearing in bouts of unfettered exploration down the holes in the horrible talus landing (i didn’t know to patio landings like this then) There was a big pissing block looming in the way of the direct exit behind me and my left exit kept rasping more skin off. I wanted to leave it but i knew in theory there was a decent problem there, i just didn’t know how to produce it. I eventually did the stand and then drove 3 miles of the drive home with the handbrake still on (only twigging when the burning smell caught me up on a hill) in the Morris (like i said i was learning to drive too) Fast forward 7 years and all is revealed. Greg Patio’d the landing sorting the exit and the ankle swallowing falls in one. Even opening up the true line, with great moves. Literally sorting the men from the boys. reclimbing the stand was bizarre, physical nostalgia. I set about the sit but with no print out guide i got a bit lost and started with the wrong limbs on all the right holds. The other main difference nowadays was that it felt like my skin was indifferent to its sharpness, and i can squeeze the crap out the holds. With my slightly easier sit sequence i managed it after snapping a bit of the crux LH undercling slightly on my first attempt. How things change with the arrow of time.

So the point of all this is that i’ve been consciously trying to imagine where i might be if life carries on this way and finding not just short term projects in the lakes but long term possibilities for people (not just me) too. As disillusionment in an area is not something i hope to enjoy until my more curmudgeonly years. Either that or i’ll have to start traveling!

A quick (with the usual dodgy omissions) summary of the above for people who prefer to keep/peruse scorecards rather than guidebooks

8A

Metronome, 2nd go

poor quality vid (mostly iphone) of some random stuff from the last 10days here:

On a side note if anyone is looking for a Morris Traveller my dad is selling one of ours for £1500ish

it looks a bit like this.

only without the v8, and 2 tone paint job, rally seats and roll cage.

This one is from Ned for once!
I recently had a 2 week trip to Switzerland. I thought i had better write something down about it...

Day 1: We seemed to spend all day crawling along snowy motorways but eventually arrived to a white out. Very cold. Go to sleep.

Day 2: Have a look around Cresciano as it’s the only crag we can get to with all the snow on the roads. After an exciting approach we run around looking at boulders and sweeping the things we want to try. Franks Wild Years is totally snow free so we do it. I’m climbing like a sack of spuds and decide to blame the traveling rather than a lack of ability, or any sort of warm up.

Day 3: Brione. The roads are fine but there is at least a foot of snow everywhere making getting to the boulders a cold wet nightmare. Again, we sweep a few things and then get stuck in. The rock is incredible, swirly granite with an almost sandstone feel to it. I do Marilyn Munroe then we retreat to the big cave so we don’t have to stand around in the snow. I do Fake Pamplemousse (flashed it, chuffed) and Ganymede Takeover (nearly flashed it, gutted) then fall off the massive holds in the middle of Frogger as exhaustion sets in. Its hard work being cold all day, let alone trying to climb.

Day 4: Rest. Skin good but body broken.

Day 5: Feel good. Time to try something hard. We warm up (nearly) on Harry Spotter then go straight to La Boule. I have a go at flashing it but fall off the 1^st 2a move. Strong start. Next go I fall off the last hard move with totally numb fingers. Maybe there is something in warming up properly? After a few minutes with the mitts on my hands warm up and i get it done.

Next up La Proue. It looks easy, the handholds are massive. But then you see/don’t see the footholds. Tiny, like raisins squashed onto the wall. After a few goes working out what to stand on and generally flapping about I start getting close to the crux 1^st move. I get a shove through to get familiar with the top – still tricky but not a problem if your feet stick to the raisins. A few goes later I hold the crux and do it. 2 Stone Love ticks in a day. Yesssss. I feel like Malc!

Day3 - La Boule, La Pelle, La Proue from Sandstones on Vimeo.

Day 5: The dagger. Try this for an hour or so and work out some of the moves. Its great fun. I still can’t work out why climbing on such big holds is this hard. I leave feeling totally beaten up but keen. Maybe I can do all the moves with a bit more work.

Day 6: Rest. Aching all over.

Day 7: The Dagger. Sort the moves out finally. Fall off making a stupid mistake on easy(ish) ground. I think I can do this now, it seems like I fell off purely because I’m not clever enough to remember the million move sequence! Nice one Ned, how embarrassing. Go home and do some crosswords to wake my brain up.

Day 8: Rest, this is getting frustrating, I want to actually climb something. Ive not come on holiday to rest (strangely).

Day 9: The Dagger. The end is easy, the start feels fine but for some reason I feel totally exhausted and just can’t link the 2 halves. I know I can do this… I think. Decide to bin it off and have a look at Confessions as its fewer moves, so less chance of getting pumped!

The crux of Confessions is supposed to be the doing the splits between 2 heels. Wow. I surprise myself by doing the moves pretty fast and falling off the jugs at the end, totally pumped. Something isn’t right, I shouldn’t be falling off jugs. Annoying. Phil makes me go for a walk with him to sweep snow off some boulders and force me to rest (grumbling to myself the whole time). After a walk and a brew I put my shoes back on and dispatch, by the skin of my teeth. Mantling the flat top feels like the hardest move I’ve ever done.

I feel totally done in now but at least I topped out on something today so tomorrows aching will feel deserved.
Day 10: Rest, no skin and aching all over. Go out spotting various people on various problems (secretly taking notes on their sequences)

Day 11: Chironico. Yay new crag. It’s still really snowy but some boulders are clean and dry. Freak Brothers first. It looks amazing. Mince around for a bit then find a toe hook that makes all the difference and it feels ok. Not as big as I was hoping but its a beautiful wall and a world class problem.

Conquistadors next. I had spotted Ben on this a couple of times so had a good idea of the sequence (from my secret note taking). The holds all feel good from the comfort of the floor. After pulling on I have one of those rare moments when climbing feels effortless (how I imagine climbing feels all the time for small, skinny people) and with Ben talking me though it move by move I flash it. Another world class boulder, and better still we have time for a 3^rd venue.

Finish the day on Reve de Mario. I have an old Prana postcard of Fred Nicole doing this, I think it’s from 1996 or something when I just started climbing. It’s a boulder I had always wanted to do so it was a nice end to the day. What a move.

Day 12: The Dagger. I am pretty tired but it’s the last day so I’m up for a brawl. I fall off most the way through the problem as I just cant make a toehook stick. My body is giving up on me, unhappy with 2 weeks of shivering and poor warm ups. Have to call it a day. Gutted. Do Jungle Book as a small consolation prize, it’s a brilliant problem. Still annoyed so go home and eat loads.

Day 13: Up at 4am, drive to airport (get lost on the way, obviously) and fly home.

It was a great little trip. 2 weeks of perfect weather and lots of world class boulders. Still gutted about the dagger however. Will have to go back...

Its Monday and i’ve been Skiing for a week before now. A nice relaxing week without a rock shoe in sight. Incidentally i used to think these were painful until i put my feet in Ski boots for a week, their design seemingly being inspired by the makers of the thumbscrew and iron maiden. Anyway its Monday and i was too knackered to climb yesterday and i’m beginning to get tetchy that i haven’t climbed for a week (bit of an addict you see) I’m also aware that i’ve been through an Airport yesterday; airports love to fly different diseases about the place and sit them next to each other and defenceless individuals for hours on end with recirculated airflow. I could definitely feel a cold coming on. 

Luckily my body was playing ball, it’d realised it wasn’t facing downhill and squatting. I set about trying my project of the moment. I’d had a productive session on it before going away and got half a sequence worked. Trying this sequence i did the foot move i hadn’t done last time but it felt hard. After about an hour of getting close to the cross move crux i started to try a different sequence, this quickly came together in about 30mins and I realised the problem was no longer a 4-5session goal, it was potentially a 4-5minute goal. I had about 20 minutes of daylight left and a flash flood of motivation and pressure washed in. I had about 2 hours of climbing behind me and it was on the same moves so tiredness wasn’t far away either. I still had an efficient start sequence to decide on as i had 2 methods. 3 goes gone and i had that sussed. Big rest, quick brew and the light really was fading now. This was my chance, i pulled on and felt good, floaty good, i sailed through the beginning of the crux, got my foot up, didn’t have the pinch perfect but i squeezed hard and it understood. Foot didn’t quite go on right. sod it just give it a go it might stick, touch the hold at the end of the crux, hit it nicely but left foot has made its last purchase of the day and is heavily overdrawn, it bolts and i go with it. My next go is technically better but my foot pops and the humidity has come with the darkness. Denied.

Its Wednesday and i’ve been pretty ill for the last 12 days i’ve attempted to get back to my project but have felt like a welterweight been shoved into a heavyweights fight to make up the numbers, there is no crush only skin and tendons working. I’m walking upto flasby fell with Katie on a flying visit to meet my folks who are staying near for the week. I’ve been wanting to try Rhythm for years ever since i heard Steve raving about it at Kilnsey when he found it. It’s only had one repeat since by Clifford and the tiny vid of him doing it has been on my pc for 6 years, knowing it might come in handy. (there is also a vid of Dunning doing it but its private) The walk in is Sommelike in muddiness from the snow melt until we get up on the fell. desiccated cracks of crepuscular rays are punching through the clouds and I have a discerning sense that i may not be back here for some time, if life has its way of offering up the usual distractions. Its a long walk too. Arriving at the Rhythm boulder it looks about 3feet high. I begin to question whether i am infact in yorkshire or wales. 10m later my question is answered. 

One of the most stunning pieces of rock architecture reveals itself as the ground drops away, it looks better in the flesh than in photos. The clearing of the trees and view give it a Bouldertopian feel. I pull on the warm ups on the block with a trepidation i haven’t felt since trying to climb on antibiotics in font in 2009 after catching Strep throat from something in a Sheffield night club. Am i in the clear or was all this just a nice walk? new shoes don’t help, i feel light and ungainly in my feet, brilliant i’m going to climb like Keith bradbury, Woods or Traversi for the day. Front wheel drive here we come. Safe to say i’m not ill anymore anyway. I rocket about on young Dave’s nose until the top out comes (great problem) The time comes, i jump on rhythm and fresh skin is a blessing on the holds, having climbed on sandstone all winter it feels strange but i quickly remember what to do, hook skin on holds then pull.

I look at the holds from the top of the boulder which appears to be a climbers Rorscach test, interpret it how you like but there are only really 2 proper holds there and you need about 4. Cliffords way looks like it’ll mince skin if you rip off the crimp. I’ve heard dunning went more out right to a vague dish/pocket/crimp (its barely anything so is bizarrely all of these) This looks nice and getting up from below it feels very usable, i end up using this and a bizarre arrangement for my LH that involves pretty much just pushing my skin into lots of tiny dimples and a pebble. It works and i nail the last move first try. Skin 1 rock 0. Getting into it from the stand it takes a while to suss the body position and i rip off the crap holds a few times until i suss the body position out. The stand comes together quite fast and i’m happy, i haven’t even tried the sit and it looks both easy and hard, big hands no feet. It completes the line like a visual exclamation rather than being only a full stop without that little extra fleck of ink !.

The ramp is easy, about 7a so i know i have a good chance, just as that realisation comes,

the sun comes out for 20minutes and i stop trying it, i pass the time swearing at the sun and do my best Canute impression. It gets the message and my next go ends with me dropping off the last holds with numb fingers. Another Brew and another crunch time. 30 minutes of light left, not much skin left maybe enough for 2 more goes but 1 really if i want to keep it intact for county projects. The coin lands on its other side today. It feels grippy and i float up it hitting the holds perfectly. I’m at the last move, calm, i punch up and get the hold, nothing rips like it so easily could of and i top out like Keith Bradbury, all arms and no legs.

The last 2 weeks have taught me about biding my time more and that you can’t win them all in the closing moments of the game. Of course the joy of it all is that i can go back to my county project too. boulder problems not boulder moments. But every boulder has its moment. Its perfect time to complete it. and like the sweet spot on a bat it feels bloody good when you hit it. Rhythm was one of those for me, and its made up for the week before.

Katie took this picture just after i did it and i think it captures the mood perfectly.

Rhythm is such a beautiful line. Great effort Steve. 

Sticking with it:

Last year i started trying a line i’d spotted once upon a time. I babbled on about it in a recent blog saying:

It has proved frustrating as it would’ve been a lovely 8B but for a hold breaking on the last move before entering into springer’s superb highball 7b Launch Sequence. Now it feels a full notch harder as after 3 sessions i still haven’t quite figured out the last move which is a 1-2 jobby to 2 sidepulls.

I’d gotten a bit bummed out by this roof as i’d caved and tried to glue the little ear back on, sods law the bloody temperature dropped right off the day i glued it and the resin only partially went off. So after another half arsed session on it again (whereby i got so pissed at trying the stand move over and over again i just stuck to trying the cul de sac sitter moves. There is something about undone moves which is a perpetual gall which i constantly have to endure in climbing. When head hits pillow in the eve my mind wonders in a stone monkey-esque fashion as to the moves, the moves, how can i solve the enigma, ooh its soo important. Actually i’ve just finished johnny’s great autobiography book and whilst it is essentially a book of slabs and aretes as far as the moves and routes are concerned the passion he has for the magic in moves really comes through. Momentum is something much easier to whip into a févre when things aren’t massively overhanging as you can’t really summon the magic easily when all limbs need contact just to stay on. Recently i’ve tried to work out on my dum dum level what its all about. I thought it poignant to try the redheugh line again having locked the shoes i needed to try the project i wanted to try in another car. Arriving back at the crag i quickly reached my old dead end. heel pulls me under the roof too much to reach any of the 3 holds above. and attempting to reach the biggest one out left is really violent and means i need to double with the right. The middle hold seems holdable in a one move 8b sense. I decided not to consider going for the nearest left hold with my rh and taking a cross armed cutloose on two slopers for a good 20 minutes initially as it seemed ludicrous especially as i had to move my heel at the same time. 

Eventually i decided to try it and it proved laughably easy compared to the other options i'd been bashing my head against, and a great move. So the problem has stayed natural and forced me to come up with a creative solution to an old dead end. The moment i got close to this i got a whiff of that dawes sinasthesia, of it all being connected (movement that is, not a grand unifying theory of everything). completely alone up there, nothing in my head except the bucolic waft of horsehair from the brush liberating clogged grains. i sensed i could do it next go if i tried hard and i did... until i got about half way up launch sequence and it was ballbearingly (nearly pall bearingly at that height) filthy (shame as it’s fantastic), 20minutes later after some perilous cleaning i did it. Its opened the door to a brilliant sitter into it with 4 hard moves on the trot (all of which i've managed, yippee for me) into this one complicated one. Crackalackin’sheeite as they say in Carlisle

Springers excellent launch sequence 7B

Here's a nice pic from Mark Savage of a new problem i sneaked up at back bowden the other day. The county never fails to dissappoint if you stare at its gaps long enough. It follows the leftwards trending grooveline and is probably about soft 8a to boulder ground up.